What do you do?

You know how it feels when everything comes crashing down on you?
Maybe not everything and maybe the things that do don’t matter so much but the thing is they do.

This is one of the times I feel like I wont be able to make it in the world . and I am not one of those people thinking this every second day or maybe I am. I don’t know anymore.

I cant feel fine anymore and that sucks. The world,my world is full of pain right now and I am to blame for it.

If I hadn’t gone blank,would I have done well? I don’t know. Not for sure anyways.

You know the feeling of failing yourself? I now know how desperate it makes you

I was on my path to slit my hand so that I could focus on the pain rather than the problem I had. It was stupid,cowardly and very desperate. It hurt so much.

I feel like I cant make it anymore and there is nothing I can do to make myself feel better.

When you fail yourself,there is almost nothing you can do to mend yourself. So what do you ultimately do? Live until you die? Pledge to do better on the risk of failing yourself again? What do you do?

I don't know anymore.